Dating Women

By Joanne Elliott

Dating women is actually much easier than you think it is. Honestly. There are so many horror stories about nightmarishly embarrassing evenings, but these occasions are really very rare. The thing to remember is that women are usually just as nervous about exactly the same things as you are. If you follow certain simple rules on the first date you have far more chance of reaching a second date with your chosen lady!

• Where to go?

When dating women, first date locations should be the woman's choice, especially if she doesn't know you very well. Allowing her to pick the restaurant will not only guarantee that she actually likes the type of food they serve there, it will also help her to feel safe and more comfortable with you. If it turns out that you have to travel a long way to get to her chosen venue then make it as enjoyable for yourself as possible. Listen to music or read a book for example. This will also help you to relax if you have pre-date jitters.

• Dining etiquette

Manners, manners, manners. This is far more important to a lady than you might realise. Open the door for her, pull her seat out, take her coat for her. She will appreciate being looked after and it will make her feel special.

Be friendly to staff. There is nothing more embarrassing than watching someone talk down to waiting staff or make things difficult for them. Say please and thank you when they take your order and when the food arrives.

Don't start eating straight away, especially if your date hasn't got her meal yet! This is against all the rules and should be avoided at all costs.

If you're confronted by rows and rows of cutlery don't panic! The system is very simple. Simply start with the cutlery that's on the outside first, and move inwards for each course. Desert cutlery is always found at the top of the place setting.

• Communication

Don't over think it, especially if you're nervous. Take a deep breath and relax - she may well be nervous too. Starting a conversation with simple questions is an ideal ice breaker. Good examples of questions to ask include general topics like 'how was your day'. Neutral questions like this are easy to answer and will help break the ice.

Listen to what she says. Actually listen. If you respond to her answers with questions about what she said then a conversation will gradually start to flow. Again, showing that you are listening will make her feel special and valued.

Don't show off. No matter how tempting that might be. Even if you own a beautiful sports car she'll actually appreciate it more if you don't tell her about it on the first date. Being down to earth is far more attractive to a woman - if you feel the need to boast about possessions then she will probably wonder if you're trying to make up for inadequacies in other areas. (Of course you probably aren't, but this is not how a woman would see it! Anyway, you want her to like her for 'you', don't you?!)