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Dating Heat

Dating Personals

By Joanne Elliott

Dating personals are basically like adverts for yourself. Dating personal ads have been around for years, traditionally found in newspapers, magazines and other printed formats. However, it is now much more usual that dating personals are both written and read online.

So you'd like to write a personal advert to find new people to go on dates with? Sounds easy, doesn't it? Yeah sure, until it comes to actually writing the darn thing! What do you put? How do you put it? If you've decided to go for it and write your dating personals, but don't know what to write, then don't worry. Help is at hand.

The simple fact is that the majority of people find it really very hard to 'talk themselves up'. Even the most confident people don't want to sound arrogant or pushy. But it goes without saying that you really should make an effort to not sell yourself short. There is a balance and it is actually fairly easy to find the middle ground if you follow these simple basic guidelines.

When you start thinking about what you want to get out of your dating personal ad you need to be thinking about the words that you use, first and foremost. The human perception of the way things are described is far more powerful than the actual words themselves. For example:

  • Yellow hair
  • Blond hair
  • Golden hair

All of these words refer to the same thing, but as an impressionable human being the three different descriptive words will create different mental pictures in a person's head.

Of course it is absolutely advised that you are honest within your words. Raising people's expectations is a sure-fire route to failure, for example saying you have long blond hair if you have a cropped brunette hair style. And if you are tempted to think that a few little white lies won't hurt, then think again. You will get found out. Anyway, think about it. How would you feel if someone else did the same thing to you? Exactly.

The best dating personals have wording that is short, snappy, and also gives an idea of your personality. It really makes a difference in the way the reader thinks that you feel about yourself. Think about how you would perceive a 'larger framed' person who wrote the following about themselves:

  • Cuddly
  • Voluptuous
  • Curvy
  • Overweight
  • Flabby

See what I mean? Again, each of the different words will create different mental pictures and give an impression of the writers' state of mind. Do you think that anyone who chooses to describe themselves as 'flabby' has a healthy level of self esteem? Probably not, I agree.

If there is something about you that you happen to be insecure about then you don't have to advertise it. Find the things about yourself that you like best and focus on those instead. Remember that everybody has insecurities and that it is completely natural to be unsure about how to represent yourself in a dating personal. If you get stuck why not ask friends or family for their honest opinion. It is also a good idea to run a spell check and make sure that the text that you have decided on is grammatically correct. You don't want to put yourself out of the running through silly little mistakes, now do you?!


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