Dating Friends

By Joanne Elliott

Dating friends is a bit of a tricky subject, and not one to be taken lightly. Over the years there have been many examples of friends successfully getting together and living happily ever after, but the sad fact is that dating a friend doesn't always end well. The basic principle is that you are taking a gamble that things are going to work out with a new partner, but if it doesn't then you both risk losing your friendship. However, if you have decided to give it a try then here are some simple hints and tips to help you.

• Asking them out

This is the first stage of dating a friend, and is often the first stumbling block. Before you do anything stop and think. Are you sure that there is a mutual attraction there? This needs to be physical as well as emotional. You will already have some form of emotional relationship with the other person and know a little about them. You may even have grown up together. Whatever you do, don't confuse companionship with more intimate sentiments simply because you know each other very well.

If you decide to make the move then keep it informal and don't rush things. You wouldn't declare undying love to a complete stranger now would you? Exactly. And the same rules apply here. When you ask your friend out make sure you suggest something informal like a coffee or a trip somewhere away from your other group of friends. If you're feeling brave ask them out to dinner, but drop hints before hand to make sure it's not a completely unexpected suggestion.

• The answer

It is likely that your friend will say yes to your invitation. One point to secretly note is that they may not realise you mean an actual date rather than a trip out to get to know you better. There is no need to force the issue or to put any undue pressure on them. Just see how it goes on the date and take it from there.

• The date

It is very likely that you will feel nervous and that things will fill a bit strange, especially if you've never thought about your friend in a romantic way before now. Try to relax and enjoy yourself. Talk about things you may not have ever talked about before without being too personal. Treat it a bit like a date with a total stranger - again, the same rules apply here.

• Ending the date

With a bit of luck the date has gone well and you feel like a kiss may be appropriate when you say goodbye to your 'friend'. The way you could do this depends on the kind of person that you are.

A. You could do a 'check' by kissing their cheek. If your friend lingers then you should kiss them, if they don't then it may be best not to bother.

B. You could take a risk and go for a 'lunge' straight for the lips. This one's a little risky... but it just might work!

c. You could 'request' a kiss. This method is low risk on the embarrassment scale, but is not exactly spontaneous!