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Dating Heat

Dating Clubs

By Joanne Elliott

Dating clubs come in many different formats. Some are totally online, some are totally face to face, and others are a mixture of both. The sort of dating club that you choose to join will depend on your character.

If you are an extrovert who enjoys meeting new people directly, then a face to face club is probably the ideal solution for you. If however you are more of an introvert and prefer to take things more slowly, then an online dating club is more likely to be better for you.

Tips for meeting new people face to face

  • Arrive early if you're a little nervous or if it's your first time.
  • Relax and try not to worry.
  • Be confident, not arrogant. Confidence is very attractive to both sexes. Arrogance is not.
  • Get some ideas for things to chats about ready, especially if you're nervous. Good examples of opening questions are things like 'how was your day', 'how was your journey'. Avoid questions that will only give closed 'no' answers, like 'have you been here before'.
  • Remember that people often make snap judgements in the first thirty seconds. Try not to be one of those people! Give others the benefit of the doubt and more of a chance than that!
  • Enjoy yourself and don't take things too seriously.
  • Be yourself and don't try too hard to impress. This will likely have the opposite effect!

Tips for meeting new people via email

Don't underestimate the importance of your first email to another person in a dating club. They have likely received lots before from many different people, especially if they have been a member of the site for a long time. When they reply to you it is essential to concentrate on your replies.
Make them want to continue replying to you by doing the following:

  • Try to stand out without showing off or coming across as being 'weird'.
  • Draw them in. Introduce new neutral topics to get the conversation flowing.
  • Listen to what they are saying. Ask questions that act like hooks to keep the other person interested.
  • Take note of the length of your reply. Try to mirror the length of the other person's reply. A two line response to an essay is seen as rude and dismissive, the other way round is perceived as too keen and over the top.
  • Correct English is attractive. Careless grammar and spelling makes you look thoughtless or less intelligent than you actually are. Use a spell checker!
  • No naughty chat.

Matchmaking

During your experiences at the dating club it is entirely possible that you get to know two single people that you think may be ideal for each other. For example, you may have been out on a date with someone which did not progress past friendship, but you know another individual who would potentially be perfect for them. So long as you have their best it is acceptable to make introductions via email, and then let nature take its course. If you decide to do this then remember to make the introduction and then back off entirely. Never meddle or become too involved within their lives, and remember that they're both adults and can work things out for themselves.



 

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